During my nearly 3 years in China, I had the privilege of living and working in rural Hunan, Hangzhou, and Beijing. I had the opportunity to meet and know thousands of people from all over the world who came from various backgrounds, cultures, and religions. Over 2,000 alone were my students or staff. By the end of my time, I had taught all ages and all levels of English, including everything from preschool, to university, to working adults. All these experiences and people showed me that on of the greatest ironies and beauties of being a teacher is that your students often end up teaching you.
I learned so much in China. Not only do I want to remember all I discovered, but I also want to integrate it into my life and continue to live it and breath it with each day that passes. Having only returned from China a week ago, I'm left questioning: What kind of American do I want to be now? What are the values I adopted in China dn how can I integrate them into my life here? Where does the current "me" fit an dconversely not fit?
Just like no one can ever truly prepare you to live in China. No one can prepare you to return. "Surreal" is an understatement for my experience of the past few days back in the States. In many ways, I feel like a foreigner in my own country and a stranger in my own hometown. In the past 48 hours, I noticed myself confusing worlds, accents, slang. I'm not sure how to navigate American social politics anymore. I'm the stranded piece of driftwood that keeps bumping into things. I'm reminding myself to be patient, but unlike my first months in China, I'm expected to already know how life functions here.
And then I remember that we are the creators of our lives and experiences, so in an attempt to navigate this new terrain I have listed my top 10 additions to my lifestyle in China that I want to continue in the States.
1. True Friendship: My Chinese friends introduced me to a completely different way of being a friend. I didn't realize how often Americans threw around the word "friend" until I started learning Chinese and noticed that relationships are clear. A colleague is a colleague, not a "friend" necessarily, a classmate is a classmate, and so on. Even family members have distinct and intricate titles. A cousin is not just a cousin, it's the father's/mother's side and depending on whether that person is a boy or a girl and younger or older affects the name you call him/her. Just like the Eskimos had several words for different types of snow, the Chinese language has multiple words for family members because it is a core tenant of their culture.
It's not just about the title though. It's about what comes with the word "peng you". Since this word is harder to earn, once I did, I noticed that my Chinese friends showed up and supported me in ways I had only previously expected of family members or best friends. For example, I had a friend stay with me for 2 weeks, helping me prepare to move to Beijing. This including shipping things home, moving trucks, etc. I had another friend take a 3-hour train back to see me just to be able to say goodbye. I'll be sure to write more about this concept of friendship in subsequent posts.
2. International Community: As an Expat in another country, it's natural to meet people from all over the world. Our core group of friends was comprised of Chinese, Australian, British, New Zealand, Polish, Dutch, American, Canadian, and German people. Constantly being around so many cultures opinions was amazing in itself. Luckily, I live in one of the most diverse countries in the world, so it's all about finding the right environment.
3. Speaking Chinese: I've already joined a local group for those who are interested in Chinese culture and language. In my second day, I was in my local grocery store, and I overheard two women speaking Chinese behind me. I mentioned this to my mother, and when the cashier asked me if I spoke Chinese, I explained that I had just moved back from China. Turn out he is originally from Taiwan.
4. Biking: I decided in my first week in Hangzhou that buying a bike was the best option. Chinese buses were frequent enough but super crowded and taxis were incon
sistent and somewhat expensive. I biked everyday for 2-3 hours typically without even thinking about it just in the course of getting around from place to place. I absolutely loved it. There was something about navigating the chaos of Chinese traffic while being outside and feeling the air on my face. It was also much better for the environment, better for my body, and the most practical. I would often arrive at places before my friends would taking taxis when we would leave at the exact same time.Most Americans (unless they live in a bike-friendly location) are not used to bikers. Even though Atlanta is the largest city in the southern United States, there are few bike lanes and most drivers feel nervous around bikers. Moreover, biking is considered a sport here, not a viable mode of transportation, so it will be a challenge to park the car and go 2-wheels whenever possible, but I'm up to it.
5. Eating Healthy: Delicious, healthy, and cheap food is extremely easy to find in China. Most importantly, it's convenient! A 5-minute walk from my apartment got me to my favorite local restaurant, a farmer's market, my "dan bing" and "bao zi" places (Chinese breakfast foods), a grocery store, and two 24-hour convenient stores.
Unfortunately in the US of A, McDonald's is cheaper than buying organic vegetables, so I'll have to cut back on indulgences. I rarely overate because the portions are smaller and using chopsticks helps to eat one piece of food at a time, so your body has a chance to catch up with your eyes. Also, most Chinese people don't eat dessert or sweet things, so the only consistent sugar I got was from my guilty pleasure--Vanilla Lattes. In addition, the processed foods were unappealing to me, i.e. packaged duck's feet and the like, so it wasn't a problem to go off them as well as cheese, which is not a part of the Chinese diet. How many days does it take to make/break a habit again?
6. Conserving Energy: Even the richest Chinese homes I visited did not have central heating or air conditioning and no home had a drier. There was an air conditioning unit in some of the rooms, but it was only used as needed. During the winter, most Chinese people use hot water bottles and wear thick pajamas to keep warm. Since I tried to unplug electronics when not in use and air-dried all my clothing, I used significantly less energy than I did in the States.
7. No TV: College got me out of the habit of TV watching and China kept me that way. Not only were all the shows in Chinese, many of them were period pieces, which even Chinese people I spoke to found boring. Moreover, all the news coverage is restricted by the government and the one sports channel most aired reruns of the Olympics.
Although I have to admit the Food Network is highly entertaining and I'm beginning to develop a weakness for "On Demand" free movies, when I think of all the time I spent connecting with friends, riding my bike, reading a book, learning Chinese, etc. it's more appealing to keep the TV watching to a minimum.
8. The Flexible 20-Hour Work Week: I'm not delusional. I know that my life of making a fantastic salary doing what you love for 20-hours a week on my own terms in schedule is a lifestyle that will most likely stay in China. I can, however, focus on a career I'm passionate about, so it doesn't feel like an endless week. **Note: most Chinese people work at least 40-hour weeks and often work on Saturday and/or Sunday.**
9. Sharing Food: If there are two or more people at a table in China, it's assumed that there will be two or more shared dishes, normally including at least one or two vegetables and at least one meat or fish. What could be better? Granted there are times it's nice to have one's own meal, but as they say variety adds spice to life.
10. Feeling Free: Maybe it's being extracted from one's culture, personal growth, or China itself, but for whatever reason, I felt an incredible sense of freedom in Hangzhou. I sang while biking, wore what I felt like, and lived the way I wanted. Most of this liberty stems from the freedom we gain when we let go of fear, listen and act on our hearts' true desires, and stop worrying so much about what other people think.
